TO DO....Or NOT TO DO?

"Stop that! Don't run! No whining!"

Sound familiar? As parents and educators we spend the better part of our day correcting unwanted behaviors. It's draining and tiresome, and reinforces a constant dynamic of policing the child's behavior. By the end of the day, we're spent and irritable from the effort and guess what- it doesn't even work!

What if there was a better way?

What if- instead of teaching what NOT to do, our focus became to teach what TO DO?

We don't expect children to know how to read, write, swim, or ride a bike on their own. These are skills that must be taught. Yet we expect children to automatically know how to behave, and when they don't, we reprimand them! It seems a little backwards, no?

Wouldn't it make more sense to teach skills such as prosocial behavior, emotional regulation, and communication- BEFORE we tell them how NOT to behave?

How can we do this? Using positive statements to teach desired behaviors- "Walking feet, please" instead of "Don't run!". Or-"I hear you so well when you are using a quiet voice!" - much more effective than, "You're too loud!" When we focus on TEACHING the skills that we want the child to learn, instead of constantly correcting negative behaviors, it becomes an entirely different experience!